Yu Huimin: Instagram does not define us – Rock The Naked Truth

Yu Huimin: Instagram does not define us

It’s funny because I’ve been thinking about what to write for the past three days, even wrote a couple of drafts, but I’m writing this from scratch and from the heart.

I took this photo tonight after my workout and even though I’m smiling, I thought to myself this is a bad photo – No abs, no delt cap, fat looking biceps, haggard face; so I posted the previous photo instead which seemed more socially acceptable.

That’s the thing with Instagram – we only see a picture, which is just one fleeting moment that probably took multiple (being conservative) attempts of getting the right angles/lighting/posing. We turn these moments into perceptions of that person’s entire life and sometimes judge, envy or hate on them.

Body image issues is something I’ve suffered from for as long as I can remember. My friends know this. I was perpetually always on a diet. Being a binge eater I would go on food rampages, feel immense guilt and restrict myself severely, then cave and purge again. The cycle never stops and the whole time I was miserable.

It didn’t help that people were telling me I was ugly or fat to my face – I’ve been told “I need harpoons to save me from drowning”, “the pool water all comes out when I dive in”, “I look like an ugly boy with long hair” and was even publicly called out on Twitter “At least you’re not as fat as Min”.

I tried to brush it off and act tough saying it didn’t bother me, but being 17 and having never had a boyfriend, I believed them and thought I’d never find anyone who could love me.

Pictures don’t show you all the failures or setbacks that person went through, the tears or pain behind their smile, the vulnerability and weakness behind that tough and rough caption. I am guilty of hiding behind my pictures at times, letting people form their own perceptions of my life being better than it really is, or that I’m completely 100% happy with my body when the truth is, there has never been a time I’ve been fully satisfied with how I look.

Yes I have a boyfriend who loves me fat or lean, yes I have done photoshoots, yes I look a lot better than I did when I was 17, but that doesn’t mean my body image issues are solved. Far from it.

I still scrutinise myself in the mirror every day, I still fall prey to comparing myself to other girls on Instagram and I still get affected over everything people say about me.

But every day I try to remember that I am ME, and I am beautiful and unique in my very own way. We all have things to be grateful for and we all have our own journeys we can be proud of. Pictures and Instagram do not define us and our body definitely doesn’t either, so love your body no matter what :-)

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rockthenakedtruthsg

There’s a pressure to look good for some jobs, s

There’s a pressure to look good for some jobs, so how can they deal with it and not let it turn into something negative?

@goodity.co has the goods…

When we struggle with something, naturally we want

When we struggle with something, naturally we want to talk to those closest to us. But sometimes, these are the very people who brush us off or worse, scold us.

So who can we turn to? @goodity.co tells us…

Someone in your family, a friend or a colleague mi

Someone in your family, a friend or a colleague might be struggling with something. Perhaps they have been more distant and withdrawn, perhaps they have been excessively dieting and exercising; you sense that something is not right.

How do you approach this person without offending him/her?

@goodity.co has some amazing advice for this…

Positive self-affirmations like, “You are enough

Positive self-affirmations like, “You are enough”, “You are stronger than you think”, can sometimes make you feel worse. How else can you improve your self-esteem?

@goodity.co shares some advice in this video…

People are often so quick to criticise and give ne

People are often so quick to criticise and give negative comments, especially about our appearances.

“Wah you gained weight leh”, “Why you exercise but still so fat ah”, “You better slim down if not nobody want you ah”.

How do we tell these people to stop commenting, especially if they are friends or family (eg. relatives, in-laws)?

Watch this video with advice from @goodity.co.

We have a tendency to compare ourselves (what we h

We have a tendency to compare ourselves (what we have or don’t have) to others and that can leave us feeling bad about ourselves. What can we do to stop this?

Watch the video to hear from @goodity.co.

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body w

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body when I was in my early 20s and the relationship carried till Circuit Breaker. This period of isolation forced me to reflect on my own inner child wounds.

I was born with big hips structure and damn jialat metabolism. At 24, I tried to lose weight by jogging every morning and only having yogurt for the whole day. I did lose some weight but I also lost a lot of my hair. That lifestyle lasted for 2 months and I was not in a good mental space. Then I went back to my usual diet and gained all the weight back.

In 2021, I got molested in the bus by this Gray Hoodie Ah Pek. He sat beside me, pretended to fall asleep and circled his thumb on my thigh. He then alighted the bus and looked back at me with a smirk. I swear I was beyond disgusted.

Due to genetics, I have a heavier bottom and the yoga pants and bicycle shorts that I buy online are not squat-proof (very transparent at the butt area) so most of the time when I head out for training I would need to double wear my yoga/bicycle pants with shorts. But that day, I was in a cover-up dress that showed nothing and was feeling disgusted and fat. I reported him to the police anyway.

Later, I released myself from a very toxic situation when I was constantly seeking for acceptance and at the same time, I received news that Gray Hoodie Ah Pek was sentenced to 2 counts with 4 months imprisonment.

At that point of time, it was very dark and I questioned myself frequently, “Is it because I am not good enough?”, “Confused, I was fat but why did that ah pek still touch me?”, “Guilty, because I was one of the reasons that sent him to imprisonment and he might have a family to feed.”, “Why me?”.

To cope, I went back to doing yoga and also started Muay Thai. I felt more balance, love and acceptance towards myself; learned self-defence, resilience, discipline and how to stay grounded.

Definitely, there will still be days when I question myself with my own self-acceptance, but I made a promise to myself to continue to learn and grow mentally and never stop.

Thank you for reading my story. Namaste.

- Val (@soundslikehokkienmee)

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had pos

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had posted it on Facebook with a caption “omg I look so fat here”.

This was when I was struggling with my eating disorders. I was starving myself, taking slimming pills, counting calories and I remember feeling so miserable all the time.

How was this fat?! I clearly was struggling with my body, with my self-worth, with my confidence. And this lack of self-confidence showed in many different ways.

For example, I was constantly in relationships or dating because I needed attention for validation. I would stay in toxic relationships even though I know it’s bad, and I would enable it further, because at the back of my mind I just want to feel loved.

It took me over a decade to reach where I am now and it hasn’t been easy at all. There are days when some of these past demons rear their ugly heads but I am able to better deal with them now.

Self-love is a journey, so be patient and keep working at it!

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire preg

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire pregnancy, and after my pregnancy. I hated it. I felt like it failed me. I felt fat my entire pregnancy instead of embracing the fact that my body was growing a human and creating a life and just being all around awesome.

I was still weighing myself and going, “Well, how much does the baby weigh and how much weight have I put on?” I couldn’t find clothes that fit me.

Part of my trauma (on top of PCOS, lupus, endometriosis, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) during my IVF journey as well, was multiple people saying, “Oh, when are you due?”, when I wasn’t even pregnant. I’ve had two flight crew in the past saying, “I do have your letter of authorization for travel.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you’re pregnant. You must be due soon.” And that was when I was just fat and trying to get pregnant.

My body issues and my self-esteem issues followed me into my pregnancy. I gained 27kg while I was pregnant and it was because of the meds. I wasn’t eating everything or anything I wanted; in fact, I was vomiting every day and still getting fat.

I gained more weight after I gave birth and got to 129kg, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life with a baby going, “I’ve done this bit. Why aren’t I having the other bit now?” I literally was worse after I had the baby in terms of my mental health surrounding my weight.”

- @jazskimo keeping it real and sharing her thoughts about her first pregnancy and childbirth. This was after 7 years of IVF and S$130,000 spent. She’s in a better place mentally now with a beautiful son and is on her next IVF adventure to try for her second child.