For a while I blamed the depression, the eating disorder, the personal betrayals and heartbreaks, the abuse, the running away, the impossible standards in society and the self-harm that led to my body image issues — but that led me nowhere.

What struck me was the fact that I was letting all these things eat at me and take over instead of trying to take control of my own life. I was playing the “victim” story and it was exhausting being stuck like that. One day I got sick (I was literally sick) and tired of losing to these negative things. I decided to start winning instead. Then fitness “seduced” me.

Here’s the real deal: I’ve competed in bikini competitions and won a few trophies and medals in two years — but I’ve never once felt that getting a six pack and a 10% body fat percentage ever made me happy. I was, again, giving in to the impossible standards in society.

I was crampy, cranky, grumpy, weak, my period stopped and I felt fatigued all the time. Every time a competition ended I’d be worried and upset. Everyone else may have seen my efforts to stay lean and competition-ready as “dedication”, but it was really just obsession and weakness, trying to please people instead of being happy myself.

Until the world sees that fitness is more than skin deep and it’s more than just transformation pics and looking ripped, I’m making a stand for fitness through physical, mental and emotional health and strength.

So no, it’s not about the “fat to fit” or “skinny to fit” or “fit to fitter” or any f*cking physical transformation that’s been over glorified in the media and fitness industry.

I could be a normal 16% body fat, smashing PRs on my lifts, rocking curves while eating pizza and be as fit as I choose, in the pink of health. That power, and freedom of choice, my friends, is the strongest and best thing of all. Why? Because it’s authentic and it’s you in all your you-ness!

It’s about making a stand for your life and how you choose to be, or look like, and being healthy and strong… however the f*ck you want to be.

Let’s not confuse body image issues with a different kind of body image issue. So yeah, this is how I #rockthenakedtruth!