Vanessa Ang, 22, mother of one, was only 11 when she started to struggle with her body. She had to join her school’s TAF Club and over the years, her body image struggles got worse.
“The worst period was during my secondary school years when I fell into depression. I always hated the way I looked – the shape of my face, my flabby arms, round tummy, thick thighs, small boobs; I was insecure about almost everything about me and I would keep beating myself up about it,” she said.
“I lost a lot of weight in Secondary 2, and that was when I was at my lightest and slimmest. Because of that, friends and people closest to me would compare me now to me then, often asking,“When will you be that skinny again?” “When are you going to start running again?” “When will you start losing weight?” ”
Social media worsened her struggles and Vanessa felt more and more insecure. “There are lots of people posting beautiful pictures with their amazing bodies so I ended up comparing myself to them and feeling bad about myself because I didn’t look like them.”
It was only when she gave birth to her daughter in 2018 that she started to look at herself differently. “I’m starting to appreciate and be thankful for my body now. I don’t need to be skinny to be loved. My life before getting pregnant was very messy – I was always out with friends till late at night; I smoked, drank a lot, skipped classes, changed courses, and eventually dropped out from polytechnic.
“So when i got pregnant, I realised I had to become responsible. I stopped drinking, smoking, ate well, slept well. I started looking after myself so my baby could grow well. Having a baby made me grow up and I will always be thankful for my daughter.
“Becoming a mother has taught me that I am loved no matter what size I become. My body made this precious child. These stretch marks show that I carried this baby and gave birth to her, these boobs fed her, kept her full and healthy. I shouldn’t be insecure or ashamed for having stretch marks and small and saggy boobs as long as I am healthy enough to look after my family.
“I hope that every woman out there will never be ashamed of their body and embrace it. I never want my daughter to ever feel insecure about herself when she grows up, so I have to show her that I love myself too.
“I used to shy away from lingerie because i thought only women with the ‘perfect’ body could wear them and that I would look ridiculous wearing lingerie. But now wearing lingerie sometimes makes me feel beautiful and powerful, even when my fats are out and visible.”
