I was caught by surprise when Cheryl messaged and notified me that I am the ROCKstar of the month for December 2018. I have read through the previous ROCKstar stories and have been very inspired by every single one of them as each has their own story to tell and how they overcame their own limitations.

I have always been secretly hoping that I will lose weight and be able to share my transformation story one day on the Rock The Naked Truth website. Well, I have not lost any weight to share my story, but I guess there will never be a perfect time to share it.

Here goes:

Every group has a fat kid. Coincidentally, I am the fat kid in my group of friends. I was never an overweight kid till I turned seven. I dislocated my arm at the age of six while playing on a playground swing. While I was recovering from my dislocated arm, I would often eat and sleep and that’s when my weight started to pile up.

I entered the Trim and Fit (TAF) Club when I was in Primary 1 and I was in it all the way till Primary 6. Memories of TAF Club in primary school included running every morning before morning assembly and I absolutely detested it as I would need to attend morning assembly all sweaty while the rest of my classmates go to class fresh.

When I entered secondary school, I was often very fearful of Physical Education (PE) lessons. Our teacher would make us run around the school compound and if we were caught walking, we would need to run another round. For overweight students, we had to carry a 5kg medicine ball to run with. If we were caught walking, we will need to run another round with the 5kg medicine ball. This made me fearful of PE lessons as I had very weak stamina and I would often get stomach upset and diarrhoea before I ran.

Classmates would also often ‘label’ me due to my size. I remembered an incident so vividly which happened to me in secondary school. I went to look for a friend in the next class and there was this guy who told me not to enter their classroom as their classroom would be flooded by the oil that would come from my fats. Hurtful remarks and judgments of my physical appearance by strangers and friends made me feel unwanted and my insecurities grew.

I would have occasional breakdowns and I would apologise to my mum for giving birth to me as I felt that I am of no use and am just being a burden to my family. I would scratch myself and have suicidal thoughts occasionally. On some days, I would drown in negative thinking and refuse to go out of the house to meet my friends.

T-shirt and bermudas is my go-to outfit to cover my body shape. Growing up, my closet was filled with large t-shirts and bermudas. Whenever I go shopping with my girlfriends, I would be the first one to finish browsing all the clothes available in the store as I could hardly find clothes that fit me.

I often thought that I don’t fit well in any groups as I am not the typical girl who likes dressing up. I would binge eat whenever I feel stressed or when I feel bored. It doesn’t help that I also have a sweet tooth, so I like to indulge in desserts such as cakes and ice cream.

There were many times where I told myself that I want to change my life. I have used available online tools to help me track calories and workouts. I have also tried slimming pills to slim down but to no avail as they made me feel weak and dehydrated all the time.

I read many inspirational stories online and it seems that eating right and working out in moderation is the only long-term solution to weight loss. Two of my friends helped me to lose weight as they were concerned for my health in the long run. They brought me to grocery shopping every single weekend and taught me how to pack budget and nutritious lunches to work.

As a result, I lost a total of 4kg over two months. It was an achievement for me as I have not managed to lose so much weight ever. They also taught me how to pick the right type of clothes, how to dress up, how to feel good and confident about myself. Thereafter, I also picked up healthier habits such as going for hikes, swimming, biking and jogging.

I used to run short distances by myself and decided that I should join a running group to get motivated to run longer distances and in turn, lose weight too. I dislike running but I enjoy the endorphins after exercise.

One day, I decided to join ROCKrunners with my friends. Even though I am always the last one in the group, the amazing people in ROCKrunners ensure that I do not get left behind. They would run together with me at my pace and talk to me which made running less painful.

At each race that I join with ROCKrunners, they were there to wait for me which motivates me to run faster and not give up. ROCKrunners is very welcoming and not judgmental at all. This was the main reason that made me stay on in this running group.

Throughout the years of struggling with unhealthy eating habits and leading a sedentary lifestyle, I have learnt that I must take care of my own body as health is wealth and I need to have a healthy body to accomplish many other things in life.

I have not achieved my goal weight and I still struggle with bad eating habits, but I am trying to be a better version of myself every single day. Change does not come easy. Let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life. Let it be the day you act upon it. Surround yourself with positive people that will help you to see things from different perspectives which will help you in your journey. Don’t ever give up! Cheers guys!