When she was younger, Eilania Lee thought looking perfect is a priority if she want to be loved. But as she grew older, she realised she was so wrong.
“Yes, looking good is significant and has its advantages, but it is not everything. People do not love me for how I look, people love me for who I am. That is what we should be focusing on as a society – who are you inside, your identity, what makes you, you. We should develop that. Looks are temporary. But who we are inside, nobody can take that away from us,” the 31-year-old founder of local shoe brand Stand shared.
As an adult, she now struggles with something else – unexplained fertility. For the past five years, Eilania has been trying to conceive – once she even had a miscarriage – despite good health reports for both her spouse and her.
“It makes me wonder what is wrong with me and if I will ever be a mother. If there was a reason, it’ll probably be easier to find a solution. But it feels helpless not knowing what the problem is. I really want to have children of my own and we have tried everything. It takes a huge toll financially, physically, emotionally and mentally. Five years is a long time and losing a baby is painful. It can feel really lonely because people who hasn’t been through this will not understand,” she revealed.
It is tough to overcome this, because Eilania really looks forward to having children of her own. Thankfully, her husband plays a big role in giving her strength to keep going. “He is loving, caring, supportive and that means a lot. It is not easy for the husbands too and I think it is important to see that. Focusing on someone else other than ourselves helps in overcoming this too.
“I find that speaking to others about it helps too, because it was through that, that I realised infertility and miscarriages are more common than I thought. People do not usually talk about such topics in fear of judgment, but it is only when we share, that people start opening up and that is when support happens.
“I felt less alone when friends starting sharing about what happened to them, what worked for them and what didn’t work. It’s importantly to consciously choose to be positive to move forward. I learn to be at peace as some things are out of my control, just do my best. Whatever will be, will be. Love myself and be healthy. Time heals all wounds,” she said.
Eilania stands for love.
“STAND is exactly how I hope to empower other women. My intention is to ignite and evoke the positive values that every woman has in them but have neglected or forgotten, because we have so many physical beauty standards we are asked to live up to.
“Know what we stand for then go create the lives and the world that we want. Live a life of purpose. Balance emphasis of physical beauty with inner beauty as well. That’s why I created customised footwear with personalised inscriptions of positive values, combining fashion with purpose. Let’s create a better world, one step at a time, literally!” she added.
STAND was started in 2016 because Eilania wanted to create something that would be of positive contribution to the world. She finds that the world is becoming increasingly superficial, especially with social media and it’s all about looking good.
“And that is a problem. Humanity is not about looking good. I want to have children of my own and I do not want them to live in such a world. My goal for STAND is to become a household brand, for every woman to own at least a pair of meaningful footwear from us, for STAND to go global, for me to be an ambassador of this and spread my message through many more speaking gigs.”
[Eilania is wearing the Elle Dress in Night from GOYA and Black&Gold heels from Stand. Use ‘istandforme‘ to get 15% off both brands!]
