Once a very active person, Michelle used to run a lot, aside from swimming, playing tennis and hiking. She was an avid runner in university and she absolutely loved runnig as it helps her to clear her head and gives her space to think about other things other than work. “I tend to get brain blocks often so heading out for a run helps with that,” the 32-year-old marketing manager said.
However, when she moved to Hong Kong in 2013, she became less active and started to gain weight due to a change in lifestyle. For one, the apartments in Hong Kong are relatively small so when you stay home for quite a bit, you don’t have to move around a lot as everything is within reach.
“My husband and I did start to walk a lot more from place to place since it’s quite walkable, unlike Singapore, and we also started doing more hikes on the weekends. However, food there tends to be more unhealthy with all the roast goose and pork!” she recalled.
Her biggest downfall was when she got a full-time job with long hours and a lot of time spent sitting. “That’s when I got lazy with fitness. In addition, with space being a commodity there, gym memberships were expensive and so I didn’t spend a lot of time exercising.”
In 2017, Michelle returned to Singapore and no one really commented or said anything about her appearance, but she saw a big difference in her photos. That gave her a wakeup call to get active again. “It is something that I do struggle with once in a while, but my mentality for training has definitely changed – it’s not to lose weight, but as long as I’m happy with where I can fitness-wise, that’s fine.”
She soon got bored of the fitness classes in Singapore though – and while running is still a way to clear her head and re-focus, it does take a lot of energy because of the humid and warm weather here that puts her off running.
Having to find different things to stay motivated, Michelle took up various things like Crossfit, cycling, yoga, Pilates, and tennis. But nothing really stuck with her. Her current fitness regime includes HIIT workouts at home and either cycling or inline skating to work.
She wanted to join the OUTDO YOURSELF programme by 100PLUS Singapore so she could commit to an active lifestyle and push herself to train towards her goal of running a half-marathon again.
“My goal for this training programme is to push myself to do a little more than I usually would in running and also to meet new people with similar fitness goals,” she said.
“I have extremely big breasts due to a condition called mammary hypertrophy. For years, I’ve been coping with neck, shoulder and back pains. I started being insecure about my body when I was 15. Although I hit puberty around the same period as my peers, my breasts grew faster than others. In Primary 5, I remember my friends commenting that my breasts were big. And in Secondary 2, boys started teasing me about my breasts.
I felt embarrassed and humiliated, especially when I’m stared at or harassed. There were countless harassments and embarrassing incidents, three of which I can never forget.
Once I was at a shopping mall with my partner when two guys walked past me and said, “Barang berat pe!” (Malay slang for big breast or butt, usually derogatory) RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. I was shocked that ANYONE had the guts to say that. My partner wanted to chase and confront them but I was just too embarrassed to do anything.
Another was when I
found out my picture was stolen from a family member’s Instagram account and was
posted on Tumblr. The caption read, “F***ing big tits!!” I felt
violated. I am a private person and I do not like that kind of attention.
The next incident was
by far the most I have been humiliated. I participated in a game during a Chinse
New Year celebration. When I was receiving the prize, the emcee exclaimed,
“SO BIG SO BIG!” At first, I thought he was referring to the prize.
But guess what was the prize? It was just a box of Van Houten
chocolates. Immediately, I knew the emcee was referring to my breasts. Imagine
the humiliation. There were more than 100 people at the venue!
I’ve been mercilessly teased and cat called because of my boobs my whole life. People always think that having big breasts is good, sexy and makes a woman feel more feminine. But that is not the case for me.
These breasts of mine have been giving me problems more than
anything. Not only has it affect my mental health, it has also taken a toll on
my physical health. I’ve been suffering from neck, shoulder and back pains due
my heavy breasts. I suffer from stabbing pains on my shoulder blades, my hands would
feel numb sometimes because my shoulders are tense from the weight of my breasts,
and I get headaches from neck pains. I have permanent bra indentations on my
shoulders too. The doctor diagnosed my condition as Bilateral Mammary
Hypertrophy and it is medically necessary for me to undergo a breast
reduction.
There is nothing (except breast reduction) I could do to change the size of these ‘fun bags’! I started wearing baggy clothes to conceal the shape and size of my boobs but they still looked big! I tried wearing minimiser bras but they don’t fit me well nor offer enough coverage and support. It is very hard for me to find clothes and bras that fit me well! I started to edit my pictures so my breasts would look smaller and attract less attention. But after all those efforts, they still looked huge!
So this year, I took things into my own hands and will be going for a breast reduction to improve my life quality! I wanted a breast reduction since I was 18 but have always been delayed due to several obstacles: money and personal things such as new job, marriage, divorce, new house etc. There wasn’t really a suitable time until this year. I’ve been saving up for 10 years for this reduction! Finally I can do something about it, as the symptoms are getting worse and I was always upset with the harassment, as well as clothes and bras that don’t fit me well.
I love pole dancing and it has become a favourite hobby of mine. However, I have difficulty advancing and have been struggling because my upper body is too heavy. On top of that, I have difficulty doing daily activities and is often in pain too. Enough is enough!
I know there will be scars but I don’t care because those are going to be battle scars for me – for the years of physical, emotional and mental pain that I have suffered. My family is very supportive of my decision, especially my mother. She’s been helping me source around for post-operation meals for my post-surgery recovery. They knew it was medically necessary because I’ve been suffering for too long.
My close friends are very happy, excited and supportive of my decision. However, I do have some friends who ask me why I want to reduce my breasts (and if I could give them some because they wish they have big breasts and are so jealous of me etc.). But I’m used to these passing comments and such comments don’t bother me anymore. I’m just very tired of explaining my decision.
I only started doing proper research on breast reductions in Singapore in February this year. There was very little information regarding reductions performed locally. So I started researching by watching YouTube videos and following Instagram hashtags such as “#breastreduction”, “#breastreductionjourney”, “#breastreductionsurgery”.
Reductions are very
common in the United States, United Kingdom and Australia. I learned a lot from
the videos and hashtags. I also followed breast reduction accounts on
Instagram. It’s a wonderful and supportive community!
Money was an issue for me because surgery is very expensive but I found out that breast reduction (if medically necessary) is covered by insurance and MediSave. I also prepped myself mentally and emotionally for the big (no pun intended) change because my breasts have been part of me for most of my life and has become my identity. It’s always “Sara the big boobs girl!” and I might feel emotional about letting my “identity” go.
Due to the lack of information on breast reduction, the process is very tedious. The first step was to decide if I wanted to do it at a private or public hospital. I consulted with a private plastic surgeon at Mount Elizabeth Novena and a plastic surgeon at Singapore General Hospital. I could also go to a polyclinic and get a referral as a subsidised patient but that meant a bunch of doctors handling my case and I wasn’t comfortable with too many people looking at my breasts. Finally, I decided to do the surgery with a plastic surgeon at a public hospital but as a private patient.
During the consultation, I explained to the surgeon my reasons for a surgery. After a physical examination and explaining the type of incisions, he said I was a suitable candidate due to my symptoms. More than 500g will be removed from my breasts! There are two types of incisions for breast reductions – Anchor/Wise Pattern incision or a Lollipop incision. Due to the sheer volume of my boobs, the surgeon decided that an Anchor/Wise incision is best for me. He will also perform a breast lift and liposuction at my sides so my breasts will be proportionate.
I informed my insurance agent regarding my surgery intentions and he helped me with the insurance paperwork. My advice is to always check if your insurance plan covers the surgery.
I was quoted about S$37,000 to S$43,000 for the surgery in a private hospital. While in a public hospital, it costs approximately S$17,000 to S$22,000. The surgery will be covered by Medisave, Medishield and insurance.
I’m sharing my story today because I hope to help and even provide information to large chested girls who like me, are looking into a reduction locally. I’ve even set up an Instagram account detailing my breast reduction journey!
You girls are not alone.
I know how it feels to be stuck with ugly granny-looking bras and bras not fitting right just because our country doesn’t sell bras of your size. I know how it feels to have shoulder, neck and back pains. I know how it feels to be harassed and teased mercilessly. I’ve got you, sisters! If you’re not happy, go change it.
There is no shame in wanting to change something you’re unhappy with, if they are for the right reasons. Always try to improve your life quality and remember that a healthy mind leads to a healthy body. There will always be body shamers and women who are constantly pitted against each other. But don’t listen to others and just care for your own happiness.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Everyone has a choice to change things that makes you unhappy. Make that choice!” – Sara, 33, Administrative Executive
Sara is wearing The Maybe Baby Padded Camisole in Navy from Our Bralette Club.
