Body shaming was something that Brenda Yeo was a victim of, but never recognised it till she looked back in hindsight. In junior college, she was often shamed by her Physical Education (PE) teacher.
When she was doing leg raises in the gym, he pointed out cellulite on her thighs to other students. When she was out running he called out, “Hey Fats can run, you girls need to come and catch up.” This teacher simply referred to her as ‘Fats’ and not by her name.
During height and weight taking, he remarked that Brenda should be on the rugby team because she was of the same weight as this rugby player in the class.
When she was at Delta Sports Hall doing stick work for hockey, he commented that she shouldn’t be on the court but should be a goalkeeper instead because of her size. Yes, this same PE teacher of hers was also the hockey CCA teacher in charge. This made her quit the team and she never played hockey again.
All of these made Brenda develop an inferiority complex about herself. For her height of 168cm amd 62kg, she was not overweight or fat at all, but because of how her teacher kept putting her down, she decided to do something about her weight.
Brenda only drank soup, ate broccoli and 12 pieces of oats cereal every day. She also ran 2.4km in the morning and 4km in the evening daily. These unhealthy actions caused her to lose 10kg, but at the expense of her family’s feelings.
When she went back to visit the school after graduating from junior college, the same teacher said to his colleagues, “Look at her. What is she? A piece of paper? Look.”
She simply smiled and replied: “Thank you Sir. This was for you. Too much too soon and now too little too late.” Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to hear it or he pretended not to.
This massive 10kg weight loss was eventually regained during a university exchange trip that Brenda went on. She didn’t let that get to her and when she got back to Singapore, she managed to find a balance between exercise and food. She tries to avoid fried and oily foods, and she also kept active with dragonboat, marathon and biathlon training.
In hope that no one would ever have to go through what she did, Brenda decided to become a teacher herself; a PE teacher too. “I can’t change the world but I’ll make sure anyone under my charge learns to recognise their self worth in ways more than just their body size and numerical mass.
“I can’t undo what’s been done and it is interesting how I still see this particular teacher in the fraternity but he doesn’t remember what he did to me.
“Learning all about sports science and the principles of physiology, fitness and health and biomechanics makes me fall in love with my amazing body all over again and I’m working hard to take care of myself mentally in order to love myself physically,” she said.
Brenda stands for family.
A few years ago, her younger brother was later diagnosed with a rare form of aplastic anemia which was fatal and time was not on her side at all. She had to make sure she force fed myself and ate every single meal properly to pump up her iron levels and body mass just so she can be a suitable donor for bone marrow. “Now my brother is slowly but steadily on the road to recovery. We women are a lot stronger than what our bodies look like from the outside!” she added.
When we struggle with our bodies, we often think it is an individual problem, but it actually affects our loved ones more than we realise.
“My dad was heartbroken when he saw how I was starving myself. He made sure to order food with soup because that was the only thing I would eat,” Brenda recalled.
“Two years ago when he was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, I did the same for him. I ordered food that he could eat so we could both eat from the same plate. We worked together to finish the plate, one spoonful at a time.
“It was also Dad who encouraged me to take the PE teacher conversion course. It was Dad who would gently remind me to be careful each time I fell from my headstands and crow poses. He has since passed on though,” Brenda said quietly.
Through this campaign, Brenda hopes to send the message and love out to too many women who have been through and are still going through issues with self-image and body weight.
“This is also a tribute to my family who has silently stood by me all these years.”
[Brenda is wearing the Enva Top in White and Inea Pants in Slate from GOYA, and Ribbon Light Pumps from Stand. Use ‘istandforme‘ to get 15% off both brands!]
