Month: August 2021

Growing up as a chubby kid, Sandra Ho faced a lot of criticism from her mum and relatives. When she got into her first relationship at 19, her then boyfriend compared her to other girls and she would also compare herself to Victoria Secret models who were on posters all over shopping malls.

Stuck in that toxic mentality for a long time, she struggled badly just to strive to look like them.

To stop herself from feeling guilty for eating, Sandra was exercising 2 to 3 hours day when she was in polytechnic. It bothered her that she was struggling to fit into a size S and she only ate an apple or just a bowl of fish soup for the day.

“I was going for Muay Thai classes two to three times a day for five days a week. I was pushing my limits just to look fit. Then I started to get really thin and I liked the attention I was getting all for the wrong reasons.”

“But because I wasn’t eating and I was exercising so much, I almost blacked out once and was feeling so light-headed,” the 30-year-old healthcare professional recalled.

“A blood test then showed that my haemoglobin level was way below normal and the doctor said that I have to start eating normally or my health was at risk.”

Eventually, it was pole dancing that led Sandra to learn how to love her body. Picking it up five years ago, she was amazed at the tricks she could do and how strong she became.

“The pole dance community is a very strong union of women coming together and we celebrate each other’s small wins. That’s when I realised that my body is so amazing and it gave me strength to pole dance.”

“I realised that I don’t have to be a certain size or look a certain way to be worthy. I am worthy just the way I am. I hope to bring a message to girls like me who suffered from body dysphoria and is also stuck in a toxic cycle of family members constantly commenting on your body – you are always worthy and you are beautiful.

“Your worth has got nothing to do with your weight. Be confident and shine like the brightest star!”

*This is a collaboration between Rock The Naked Truth and Pink Salt

Back in 2016, Bavani Palanivellu was in a very toxic and abusive relationship which led her to severe depression because her then-boyfriend was manipulative and narcissistic. Blinded by love and foolishly thinking that he would somehow change, the 30-year-old business development manager did not realise that she had lost up to 15kg in a very short span of time.

“I was running, cycling, swimming and hitting the gym just so I could “keep up” with my ex because he was a very active triathlete. I wanted to be the “ideal girlfriend” by participating in activities he was drawn to, hoping that would give him more reason to stay in the relationship,” she shared.

However, all that training, whilst being underweight, caused her to suffer further as she was perpetually exhausted and weak. It was 2017 and she was only 45kg at her height of 1.72m. As a result, she kept falling ill as her immune system crashed.

To make matters worse, she had the worst acne breakouts on her face that hurt and bled. “I started hating how I look and I didn’t like going out,” she said.

“My insecurities slowly chipped away at my self-worth as my ex kept putting me down. When I told him I wanted to do my first Ironman 70.3, he told me that I wouldn’t be able to do one without him. That led me to think that I was always gonna need his help.

“Eventually what I found traumatic was when I finally realised the degree I was manipulated to. I could not accept that someone I loved so dearly would do that to me. Being the strong girl that I’ve been from a very young age, it also weighed me down to think I was so foolish to fall for the same guy twice and get my heart and spirits shattered, twice.”

After completing her first half-Ironman race, Bavani felt extremely proud of herself as it was a challenge she took upon herself to remind her of the girl she once knew, before the relationship.

“I realised that my body is capable of all this, on my own. We always have a choice and I want to emphasise the importance of simply choosing ourselves. Choose you.”

*This is a collaboration between Rock The Naked Truth and Pink Salt