Month: July 2021

As early as in her teenage years, Cenna felt inadequate about herself when she was doing some modeling work and hanging out with friends who were all tall and thin models. It was only when she left the industry and its toxic environment that things got a little better for her.

“From the ages of 17 to 20, I was terrified to put on weight and would exercise for hours a day and only eat a sandwich,” the 33-year-old personal trainer recalled. “I was comparing myself to others, being judged for the way I look and have agents or clients telling me how I should look.

“I also grew up with an emotionally abusive mother who was very judgmental and critical about everything about me. Not ever feeling good enough, the lack of self-love and confidence, and lack of control in my life probably led me to needing to control the way I looked.”

Cenna’s life turned around when she started therapy and worked on her past traumas. It took her years to learn self-love and acceptance, along with meeting people who lifted her up instead of putting her down.

Now, Cenna still has her ‘fat’ days like everyone else but for the most part she is happy with the way she looks.

“Sometimes I still have lingering thoughts and fears of being judged by others and not feeling good enough, but I think having fears and working through them despite having them is one of the bravest and most inspiring things one can do in life. I want to show others that all bodies are made beautiful – you just need to train your mind to believe it.”

This is a collaboration between Rock The Naked Truth and Our Bralette Club.

Deemed malnourished by her doctor, Aarti Olivia Dubey was given appetite inducers from the ages of 7 to 9. These completely changed her appetite control, her body and also her view of the world as she was suddenly treated very, very unkindly after gaining weight.

“At 10, the transition from being a skinny kid – who was fattened up not by choice – to becoming a chubby kid was a sharp one and did me no favours; not at home, not at school,” said the 39-year-old plus sized fashion blogger and activist. “And I continued to struggle with my body and weight, with it getting worse over the years until I reached 30.”

“The pressure to look good from both my parents, in-laws and just society in general constantly made me feel inadequate,” she recalled. “The year of my wedding I was hardly eating anything – I was just surviving on two meal replacement shakes a day, one for lunch and one dinner.”

“I worked out to the point of constant nausea, headaches and blackouts. My stomach lining, hormones and other parts of my health were very, very messed up by then. All of these also drastically affected my state of mind and emotions.”

Her insecurities were so deep because of how she was made to feel that how she looked was a sign of ugliness, laziness and failure, whether through the eyes of her parents, complete strangers or romantic partners. 

Every traumatic event chipped away at her sense of self, her self-worth and it brought on intense self-loathing which affected how she viewed her body. It came to a point where she refused to look anyone in the eye.

“I would walk with my head down to avoid eye contact. Self-harming was also one way I coped when it got so painful to the point of numbness, emotionally and psychologically.”

Living abroad was what opened her mind, as she saw that diverse bodies were not being as ostracised. Going into therapy was another step. But the most important turning point was on her 30th birthday when she said it was time to start living a life without all that hate and anger constantly directed at herself.

“I was done people pleasing. I was done feeling ashamed.”

*This is a collaboration between Rock The Naked Truth and Our Bralette Club.