Month: February 2017

2016 has been a very eventful and exciting year for me – I got married (moved into a new home/family) and was given a new job scope at work too, but what made this year exceptionally meaningful was getting to know the Rock the Naked Truth (RTNT) movement through a very close friend, who struggles with self-esteem issues and joined this group for hope of support and recovery. My very first ROCKevent was their first ROCKrunners session on 30 January and since then, I’ve been going for many of their events. I have to say, it is through RTNT that made me realise how fortunate I am.

The Perfect Image – is there one?

Every girl probably grew up having the mindset of the perfect image being tall, skinny and fair, which in turn translates to being more lovable and popular in school with the boys. However, along with this comes the pursuit of reducing that number on the weighting scale. This is very common and I’ve seen a lot of these – especially coming from a girls’ school – where they become obsessed with the number on the scale.

I was very lucky that I was never overly bothered by weight or body image issues. I grew up doing sports – I was part of Cross Country team in secondary school and the Canoeing team in Junior College. Certainly there were occasions that people commented on how dark and broad I was (especially in JC days), and then I looked “the worst” in my early university years (having stopped the intensive training with minimal reduction to food consumption).

But I continued to make time to clock my runs, making the conscious effort to be healthy and feel good. So although the occasional comments can hurt sometimes, I was able to rationalise with myself that I was still fit and healthy, and never ever got to the state of dieting or starving myself to satisfy others.

I recall a particular comment from a friend – “Wah your arms and shoulders are so broad that if I cover your face in the photo, I would have thought it’s a guy.” Ouch, that surely hurt, but guess what? I was certain that I was stronger and faster than he is, so I didn’t think I had anything to be ashamed of.

People can comment and judge (it’s just human nature), but it’s really up to ourselves to discern what should really matter to us. We should not expect anyone else to love ourselves more than we do. If we don’t love ourselves, what right do we have to ask for others’ love? Developing your own personality and finding the self confidence is so much more important, because that is what defines our unique self and worthiness. So to everyone, be kind to yourself, acknowledge your strengths and beauty from within, because that will certainly go a much longer way than physical appearance.

My Running Journey

I have been asked quite a number of times about “my running career” so I thought I will use this opportunity to share. Very thankfully, this year has been phenomenal where I managed to achieve my best timings across various distances. But it has actually taken a long time to get me this far.

As mentioned, I started running in secondary school – I was part of the Cedar Cross-Country team. I was never fast, or rather, never fast enough. I remember panting and struggling with 5:00 min/km interval trainings and dreaded speed-work (even now I still do)! To put things into perspective, the team had 9 of us in my batch; 8 to form a team and I failed to make the cut. *sobs* Well, getting into school team was very competitive back in those days and simply, I just wasn’t good enough.

Luckily I didn’t end up hating running or giving it up, and the training actually laid down the fundamentals for my canoeing days in National Junior College. It was during this time that I learnt about the priceless value of TEAMWORK. Running was a very individual sport for me but in NJ Canoeing, we learnt about how a team is only as good as the weakest link. It’s never about who’s the strongest, but building a strong team together. Through that period, it was a very humbling experience going through thick and thin as one.

My first ever marathon was with this team – 107 rounds around NJC track on a Saturday for fund raising. We took forever (like 7+ hours?!) to complete it as ONE team. That was done at an almost-walking pace at 10:00 min/km and I remember my joints felt like breaking at the end. Later that year on the day of our prom night, the girls’ team did the Stanchart Marathon Singapore (SCMS) full marathon together and it took us about 6 hours. I’ve had my fair share of experience running slow, but here’s where I say that it’s not about timing, but about the achievement of completion, together.

Till 2015, I took part in races on and off, slowly setting targets to better my personal best. Having clocked 2 sub-5 marathons in 2012, I switched to half-marathons but was never able to set my mind to better my PB of 2:00:09 in 2014 until this year. With a nudge by my bestie who shared the promo code for Sundown Marathon, I took up the challenge to aim for a sub-2 half marathon and officially submitted that as my short-term goal for RTNT goal-setting – that set me up to adjust my fitness regime over the next 6 weeks.

So, it really took me a long time but nonetheless I am excited and proud of how far I have come. This year has been great as I managed to try different distances 5, 10, 15, 21km and I have even set myself up to challenge the 42km again next year. The pursuit for numbers really never ends, but my bottomline is to strive and find the balance – to stay injury-free, eat healthy and run happy.

Thank you RTNT and ROCKrunners

Apart from achieving my fitness goals, I have gained something much more valuable from my RTNT experience thus far – and that is empathy and appreciation. I am lucky enough not to have been through a rough patch on self-esteem issues, but I never thought that I could be in a position to motivate or inspire others. I’m pretty much a skeptic, so although I can quite effectively neutralise negative thoughts about myself, I don’t take compliments very well. It’s not uncommon for me to reply “Oh really?” or hold thoughts like “Does he/she really mean it?” So this self-doubt is always lingering somewhere within and probably as a result of that, I don’t give enough compliments too.

The ROCKrunners family however, has made me realise that little steps go a long way and people do appreciate efforts. It didn’t take much effort or time to run with others or to talk about my own running journey, but the words of thanks and seeing newcomers return for subsequent sessions feels really awesome. And in this community, it’s all about opening, sharing and giving. Amazingly, the receiving comes naturally. A little word of thanks or a simple compliment can go a long way to making someone’s day. So a gentle reminder to ourselves – appreciate ourselves by accepting others’ kind words and let’s not be stingy with our praises too.

I would like to thank RTNT for giving me the exposure to experience different types of fitness activities – yoga, spinning, weightlifting, Bounce, cardio hip-hop (the list goes on…).  In running, I’ve had the chance to race different distances and set goals to achieve my personal best. The ROCKfam is indeed priceless and the very reason why I look forward to waking up even earlier on Saturdays than on work days.

To my beloved ROCKfam, it’s truly amazing how much each and everyone of us have improved and I’m really proud to be part of this family. The positive vibes, energy, contagious laughter and the never-ending buzz of encouragement have propelled us to improve as a team and I’m certain this support and friendship will last a lifetime.

A shoutout to those who are battling the SCMS this Sunday – some of you are doing it for the first time, some gunning to smash your PBs – you guys are ready for this! To the first timers – the distance can be daunting, but listen to your body, have faith in your training and remember, the goal is completion. To the old-timers, focus on executing your plan and own the road! With the amount of mileage that most of you put in, there’s no reason to doubt yourself.

Cheers to loving ourselves more each day! Train happy, be healthy.

Love,

Vien

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ROCKstar of the Month is a monthly award given to an inspiring individual who advocates a positive mindset and living an active lifestyle (see full requirements below). 

Requirements to be a ROCKstar of the Month awardee:

• SUPPORT – Believes strongly in the movement and advocates the right mindset
• INFLUENCE – Displays ability to be a positive influence to those around him/her
• ENTHUSIASM – Regularly attends Rock The Naked Truth events
• LEADS BY EXAMPLE – Demonstrates desire to improve lifestyle aligned with the movement
• CONTRIBUTION – Does his/her part to give back to the movement

Running was what brought Raynor Yeo and Goh Hui Shan together and till today, running still helps to keep their five-year relationship strong. They first joined Rock The Naked Truth in March, when they came for their first ROCKrunners session. Thereafter, they have been a regular at ROCK events, with Shan especially sharing lots of love and positivity.

Here are their stories –

HUI SHAN:

Since young, as an extroverted introvert, I always appear as a timid and quiet girl. But that’s not actually true! I used to get uncomfortable when others are quick to judge, saying I’m too quiet and some even saying that I’m so quiet I might be mute. I know they are joking but I couldn’t help feeling annoyed and sad when I hear such remarks. Because of this, I started to keep things to myself and I dared not share my problems with others for fear of being judged again, so I never really knew how to express my true feelings.

Things became worse when this big bully in secondary school started to pick on me because I was the quietest in class. He probably knew I wouldn’t retaliate and he’s right – I didn’t. I was very angry and sad, often crying to myself and asking myself if people are bullying me because I am weird.

As we started to enter puberty, my self-esteem dropped further because boys would keep looking at the pretty girls in class who blossomed earlier. I happened to be good friends with two of them and the boys would make use of me to get close to my friends, making me feel worse.

One day though, this boy came up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Without giving much thought I said ok and he seemed like a nice boy. He got me breakfast in the morning, walked me to school and sent me home after school. But it didn’t last long because I found out that he was seeing someone else at the same time!

Heartbroken and devastated, I started to blame myself and it was from that point in life that I developed this inferiority complex about myself – that I’m not good enough.

I carried this low self-esteem into my working life and I was often doubting my abilities at work, questioning if I am good enough for the job, if I am doing good enough for the family. I was stressed and lost.

Until I decided to go and try new things – why not? So I went to sign up for a dancing class and also started to go for jogs around the neighbourhood after work. This process of finding myself is truly amazing because you will unlock certain things you thought you couldn’t do. Do what you love and you feel good about yourself. 

After the last toxic relationship, I told myself that for my next relationship, I want someone who loves me from inside out and accept me for I am, someone who will do my favourite things with me. That’s when I met Ray.

We met at our workplace and to be honest, I never thought we would get together. We started hanging out because I learnt that he runs around his neighbourhood (which is near mine), so I suggested going for runs before work. We met up almost every day to run together and we took the same breaks as work, as well as went home after work together. We spent so much time together and we enjoyed each other’s company, so it was only natural that we eventually got together. We even signed up for our first 10km race together and even though I wasn’t the fastest, I was overjoyed just for completing it.. especially completing it with him. That’s happiness!

The more we ran, the higher the expectations I had for myself and I was often left feeling upset because I couldn’t beat my personal best timings. I was also bothered by my skinny fat body – I tried to diet but it turned out worse because my mood got affected. I tried to run more but I got burnt out and actually stopped running for a period of time because I was so sick of it. That killed my stamina and I had to rebuild it all over again.

Sometime in December last year, I came across Cheryl Tay’s Instagram where she announced she was launching Rock The Naked Truth, a body image movement. That caught my attention and finally in March, Ray and I joined our first ROCKrunners session.

Since then, Rock The Naked Truth has changed my perspective of life entirely.

Now I talk to people more openly and freely, I eat the right amount of food, I indulge in what I love to eat and not starve myself, I exercise to destress, I mix my fitness routine out, I am always looking to try new things. There is never a dull moment with RTNT!

This is what I’ve learnt with RTNT:

Be YOU.// I want to spend my life being a person who knows how to let things go, not hold hatred, keep smiling and keep spreading happiness to others. To the #ROCKfam, being able to work out with like-minded people like you guys is GOLD and I am truly blessed to have met all of you. I am so grateful for having you guys see me through my weakest moments to where I am now.

My heartfelt thanks to Cheryl for creating this platform for us and constantly showing love and positive energy, always fighting for our happiness. Every Saturday morning has become my weekly dose of happiness when I go for ROCKrunners. Thank you Jean for all your energy, patience and thoughtfulness.

To my love, my pillar of strength, my HERO: I LOVE YOU RAYNOR! I believe in treating people the same way you would like to be treated. So be nice to yourself first, love yourself first then spread the positivity to the people around you.

Everything happens for a reason to make you a stronger and better person. What defines us is how well we rise after falling. Stop focusing on the negatives and instead, make things happen for yourself today. Smile!

RAYNOR:

“If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” Inspired by the late Steve Jobs, these are the very words that run through my mind whenever I start my day. So I’m pretty sure many will wonder why such a thought to begin my day. Well, here’s a classic love story that created the Raynor you see today.

I was previously a skinny young boy and was often targeted by school bullies as a weakling, thus going home in bruises. It was definitely a struggle trying to stand up for myself because no matter what I did, I will always end up getting bullied. I tried fighting back, but my weak arms were not able to withstand the force of the bigger boys. I tried running away, but they always seemed to be able to catch up to me. No matter what, I went home appearing strong and pretending that everything was ok because I didn’t want my parents to know.

Then the school belle happened. I remember how every guy would try all ways to get her number – from playing the guitar and singing for her, to waiting outside the classroom for her. On the other hand, I was lucky enough to be in the same class as her, and if that is not considered lucky enough, I was even seated next to her! So yeah, she was my daily motivation then.

One day, she asked my classmate and I to hang out after class for lunch. Hell yeah, of course I agreed to. We were eating when my classmate suddenly asked, “If Raynor and I were to ask you to be our girlfriend, who would you pick?” At that moment, I froze with a rapidly beating heart, hoping that she would pick me.

In a split second, she replied to my classmate, “Of course I will choose you lah! Why will I choose Raynor? He’s so skinny; I will not feel secure lor.” *cue sound of heart shattering*

I went home that day feeling emotionally crushed. I spent some time looking at myself in the mirror and many negative thoughts came to me. I started to search on the internet “How to be attractive to females?” and it seemed that bodybuilding was the solution. I immediately headed to the gym with my brothers in hope that after some training I can look as attractive as those Calvin Klein underwear models.

Months past and I grew bulkier and bulkier. I started to feel that my t-shirts were getting tighter with my biceps stretching the sleeves, and I had to buy new clothes. Whoop whoop! I received more attention and people were praising me, “Whoa bro, handsome already la now!” “Hey Raynor, want to have dinner together?” “Bro, come let’s go Zouk tonight man!” I was definitely enjoying what my time and effort in the gym had produced. I could finally be part of the ‘cool kids’ and that feeling was so satisfying.

Then the dreaded IPPT test soon came as my enlistment was approaching. I was so confident because of all the positive remarks I was getting but when it came to the final station, the 2.4km run, I found myself struggling. After just one lap, I was panting so heavily and I ended up failing the run! Everyone was so quick to mock at me: “Wah lao, you train until so fit then cannot run?” “HAHA, big body, small legs!” “Waste time lah you!” It was at this moment that I realised no matter how much you do to try to fit in, you can never make everyone happy. Hence, to avoid enlisting earlier, I decided I should start working on my running.

It was during this period of training that I met Shan. We went around Singapore to run different places, then rewarding ourselves with a good meal after. The more often we ran,the longer the distance we ran, the stronger I became in my run. Together, we started achieving more and more in the sport. Eventually, I went to retake my IPPT and attained silver. That was when we realised that as a couple, we could make things happen for ourselves, because love and passion helps to motivate us to achieve more daily.

Fast forward to the time of national service, daily training took a toll on me and I ended up with a slight stress fracture. The usual stubborn me would not take the advice from the medical officers and I carried on with my training. Well, as the old saying goes, “It is only through the tough times that one will learn”, I went on with my training till one day, I could not feel my legs and I collapsed. I had to be carried by my friends to the medical centre where the doctor told me to rest my legs and stop running for the time being.

I was devastated and could not believed what had happened to me. Running was basically the sport that brought Shan and I together and now it has been removed from me. I wanted an alternative to spending time with Shan and that’s when she introduced me to cycling.

I did not know how to ride a bicycle, but I knew that this was the only sport I could replace running with for the time being. I had to do this! Thus, I went ahead and ambitiously got myself a road bike. A mixture of feelings was experienced during the process of learning to ride a bike. I could not fall as my leg were regarded as “fragile”, however I wanted to recover and regain my strength so badly that I had to do this. Eventually, I learnt how to cycle and both of us would go for rides together on the Park Connectors.

One night, we were watching videos on YouTube when a video on IRONMAN World Championships in Kona came up. Shan turned to me and said, “Since you love to swim, bike and run, maybe you should try this.” That very statement changed my life.

On March 2016, Shan and I decided to join Rock The Naked Truth. Initially, we thought it would just be another running group, but Cheryl Tay changed our perspective. Through the weekly session, what we term our ‘weekly dose of happiness’, I have learnt that the word “happy” can be defined individually, but “happiness” is created through positive synergy of friendships. Every individual plays an important role in creating this addictive dosage of happiness every week and this great sense of belonging has made us a family.

Occasionally, I look back at my photos and think to myself, “What if?” What if I was still a skinny chap? What if I heard something different from my female crush? I may not have met the love of my life Shan. What if I didn’t struggle with the 2.4km run? I wouldn’t have started running so much and I wouldn’t have created this memorable chemistry with Shan.

Then I came to realise, it is never about how you look, be it being bulky or skinny. There will always be praises and criticism. So, just live your life the way you want to and remember, “I want to go to bed better than I woke up.”

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ROCKstar of the Month is a monthly award given to an inspiring individual (in this case, individuals) who advocates a positive mindset and living an active lifestyle (see full requirements below). For winning ROCKstar of the Month (November), Raynor and Hui Shan both walk away with an outfit lovingly from Liv Activ.

Requirements to be a ROCKstar of the Month awardee:

• SUPPORT – Believes strongly in the movement and advocates the right mindset
• INFLUENCE – Displays ability to be a positive influence to those around him/her
• ENTHUSIASM – Regularly attends Rock The Naked Truth events
• LEADS BY EXAMPLE – Demonstrates desire to improve lifestyle aligned with the movement
• CONTRIBUTION – Does his/her part to give back to the movement