Lyrenna Loh: Make it a habit – Rock The Naked Truth

Lyrenna Loh: Make it a habit

2014-2015. Probably the most labour-intensive commitment to date considering I don’t do sports, ever. Started from the rock bottom and now I’m here, still sticking to my resolution. I still remember the skeptical looks I received when I said that I will start working out and drop the pounds. Well, thank you for that, I’ve made it. Trust me when I say that I don’t disappoint.

Undressing my thoughts as I checked myself out in the mirror this morning. You wouldn’t have guessed that I grew up struggling with an eating disorder and a skewed body image about myself with all the fitness posts that I have on my Instagram.

I was once chubby, and in contrast, I was also once anorexic thin which people barely even took notice. It took me years to come to terms with accepting my broad body, the petite size I have, along with big bones. I had a close shave with death letting those hideous thoughts conquer my mind and trick itself into thinking that I had to starve myself to be the society’s standard of beautiful.

I’ve never known what it means to feel beautiful while feeding myself unrealistic images of flawless and stick thin models from the magazines and the internet. My obsession with vanity and counting of calories took over my life, sidestepped my health, my mind feels like it’s fleeting on mid-air and my body always feels cold.

It felt like I was sinking deeper every single day and ironically I found a thrill in being able to fit into smaller sizes as I got thinner. I got out of it eventually with much difficulties, but I was complacent so I overate, thinking that my metabolism will remain the same as before and I could afford the extra pounds. The number on the weighing scale never came down. .

Internship came and I was at the peak of my weight, seeing myself expand exponentially. Looking at my reflection in the mirror was a horrifying experience and it was not helping when I continuously binged under stress. I was extremely worn out at the end of each day and the thought of working out was a bane of my existence.

I attempted crash diets because it’s an easy way out and I dropped the pounds as fast as I gained them back. It was a fluctuating pattern of overeating and starving, and I was frustrated. I began working out, running, trying out hot yoga trials, gym ( I don’t even know how to operate a treadmill or use a free weight). I did my research on gym workouts, started eating consciously and planned my running routes.

To say the truth, it took a lot of dedication to press on and form a habit and it eventually became embedded in my routine to get where I am now. I got a navel piercing when I was confident enough to wear a mid-riff top as a mark of achievement. I still find imperfections and my body is a work in progress. I’m not perfect, but I’m working on being the best version that I am, leaner and meaner.

Shout out to those that hate their bodies but are really trying really really hard to find the beauty and comfort in them because that shit is hard, takes a lot of time and is emotionally exhausting. I’m proud of y’all. X.

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@goodity.co has the goods…

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Someone in your family, a friend or a colleague mi

Someone in your family, a friend or a colleague might be struggling with something. Perhaps they have been more distant and withdrawn, perhaps they have been excessively dieting and exercising; you sense that something is not right.

How do you approach this person without offending him/her?

@goodity.co has some amazing advice for this…

Positive self-affirmations like, “You are enough

Positive self-affirmations like, “You are enough”, “You are stronger than you think”, can sometimes make you feel worse. How else can you improve your self-esteem?

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People are often so quick to criticise and give ne

People are often so quick to criticise and give negative comments, especially about our appearances.

“Wah you gained weight leh”, “Why you exercise but still so fat ah”, “You better slim down if not nobody want you ah”.

How do we tell these people to stop commenting, especially if they are friends or family (eg. relatives, in-laws)?

Watch this video with advice from @goodity.co.

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We have a tendency to compare ourselves (what we have or don’t have) to others and that can leave us feeling bad about ourselves. What can we do to stop this?

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I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body w

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body when I was in my early 20s and the relationship carried till Circuit Breaker. This period of isolation forced me to reflect on my own inner child wounds.

I was born with big hips structure and damn jialat metabolism. At 24, I tried to lose weight by jogging every morning and only having yogurt for the whole day. I did lose some weight but I also lost a lot of my hair. That lifestyle lasted for 2 months and I was not in a good mental space. Then I went back to my usual diet and gained all the weight back.

In 2021, I got molested in the bus by this Gray Hoodie Ah Pek. He sat beside me, pretended to fall asleep and circled his thumb on my thigh. He then alighted the bus and looked back at me with a smirk. I swear I was beyond disgusted.

Due to genetics, I have a heavier bottom and the yoga pants and bicycle shorts that I buy online are not squat-proof (very transparent at the butt area) so most of the time when I head out for training I would need to double wear my yoga/bicycle pants with shorts. But that day, I was in a cover-up dress that showed nothing and was feeling disgusted and fat. I reported him to the police anyway.

Later, I released myself from a very toxic situation when I was constantly seeking for acceptance and at the same time, I received news that Gray Hoodie Ah Pek was sentenced to 2 counts with 4 months imprisonment.

At that point of time, it was very dark and I questioned myself frequently, “Is it because I am not good enough?”, “Confused, I was fat but why did that ah pek still touch me?”, “Guilty, because I was one of the reasons that sent him to imprisonment and he might have a family to feed.”, “Why me?”.

To cope, I went back to doing yoga and also started Muay Thai. I felt more balance, love and acceptance towards myself; learned self-defence, resilience, discipline and how to stay grounded.

Definitely, there will still be days when I question myself with my own self-acceptance, but I made a promise to myself to continue to learn and grow mentally and never stop.

Thank you for reading my story. Namaste.

- Val (@soundslikehokkienmee)

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had pos

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had posted it on Facebook with a caption “omg I look so fat here”.

This was when I was struggling with my eating disorders. I was starving myself, taking slimming pills, counting calories and I remember feeling so miserable all the time.

How was this fat?! I clearly was struggling with my body, with my self-worth, with my confidence. And this lack of self-confidence showed in many different ways.

For example, I was constantly in relationships or dating because I needed attention for validation. I would stay in toxic relationships even though I know it’s bad, and I would enable it further, because at the back of my mind I just want to feel loved.

It took me over a decade to reach where I am now and it hasn’t been easy at all. There are days when some of these past demons rear their ugly heads but I am able to better deal with them now.

Self-love is a journey, so be patient and keep working at it!

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire preg

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire pregnancy, and after my pregnancy. I hated it. I felt like it failed me. I felt fat my entire pregnancy instead of embracing the fact that my body was growing a human and creating a life and just being all around awesome.

I was still weighing myself and going, “Well, how much does the baby weigh and how much weight have I put on?” I couldn’t find clothes that fit me.

Part of my trauma (on top of PCOS, lupus, endometriosis, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) during my IVF journey as well, was multiple people saying, “Oh, when are you due?”, when I wasn’t even pregnant. I’ve had two flight crew in the past saying, “I do have your letter of authorization for travel.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you’re pregnant. You must be due soon.” And that was when I was just fat and trying to get pregnant.

My body issues and my self-esteem issues followed me into my pregnancy. I gained 27kg while I was pregnant and it was because of the meds. I wasn’t eating everything or anything I wanted; in fact, I was vomiting every day and still getting fat.

I gained more weight after I gave birth and got to 129kg, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life with a baby going, “I’ve done this bit. Why aren’t I having the other bit now?” I literally was worse after I had the baby in terms of my mental health surrounding my weight.”

- @jazskimo keeping it real and sharing her thoughts about her first pregnancy and childbirth. This was after 7 years of IVF and S$130,000 spent. She’s in a better place mentally now with a beautiful son and is on her next IVF adventure to try for her second child.