“Are you pregnant?” That was the question I was asked AFTER I had delivered my twins. That was my reality – I gained nearly 40kg when I was pregnant with twins, from my pre-pregnancy weight of 45kg. I was so uncomfortable with my body that I refused to take any pictures of myself because I felt so fat in everything I wore and nothing could fit except maternity clothes.
After birth, I decided to do something about my weight. Once my C-section wound healed, I went back to the gym and started lifting weights. I wanted to be strong and healthy for my children, losing weight would be a bonus.
On top of gym, I also went jogging and it took me a year to get to around 49kg. However tough it was to lose the weight though, I don’t regret anything about the pregnancy. I ate whatever I wanted, especially beef steak and ice cream which I had to have every day.
Last year, at the age of 40, an opportunity came to compete on stage for the South East Asia Bodybuilding & Physique Championships 2014 and I took up the challenge. That was when I learnt that I had to understand what I ate, and how nutrition encompassed with training enabled me to attain the physique that I desired.
I placed second in that competition and snagged a silver medal, but I was miserable again. I felt judged as I was told by others that I was not good enough – my legs were not big enough they said, my back was not broad enough, my shoulders were not round enough. These remarks made me feel incomplete as I started this journey because I wanted to be a better “me” and not someone society wanted me to be.
This is when another opportunity presented itself in the form of the Singapore Strongman Series 2015. I was encouraged to join for fun and I felt perhaps it would serve as a motivation for me to excel in something different. After a series of four competitions, I emerged overall second in the Women’s Open category.
I am the first mother to compete in Strongman in Singapore and am the strongest in the Under 63.5kg category, thereby earning a place to compete and represent Singapore at Australasia’s Most Powerful Man/Woman in June 2016 in Australia.
I love the simple theory of Strongman – You are not judged by your appearance because the weight is what it is; you can either lift it or you can’t.
My pair of 5-year-old twins often say that they want to be as strong as Mummy. I have never seen them look in the mirror and ask me if they are fat or skinny. In fact, I have never heard a child complain that he/she is skinny, fat, not muscular or not lean enough. So ask yourself, why are you complaining about yourself?
There is an inner child in all of us who longs for praise, love and encouragement. We often neglect our inner child as responsibilities set in, our perceptions get changed by society or others, we develop eating disorders and stress, and struggle with body image as a result.
True beauty is not reflected by how you look, but by the beauty of your heart; how you treat yourself and others. Embrace your inner child and start loving yourself for who you really are.
