Joyce Yap: Regardless of how I look, I am still me. – Rock The Naked Truth

Joyce Yap: Regardless of how I look, I am still me.

Being a plus-sized girl in Singapore was never easy for me. I often get comments and advice from family and friends that I should lose weight to "fit in”.

The thing is, I was not always this size. I only started gaining weight after I went abroad for a break from work. When I came back after nine months, many of my friends were horrified from the weight that I had gained. I’ve gained 15kg in just nine months.

I tried many ways to lose the weight. I went to the extent of working out every day, skipping meals like breakfast and dinner, and even went tried taking traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) which claims that their treatments can result in weight loss. In the end, I just couldn't bear to give up on all the delicious food.

I confess that I am a foodie. I live to eat. I can't give up on cheese and fast food. Potatoes is my favourite food. Eating, ironically, became the only way for me to "escape" those comments.

Prior to my trip, I’ve always been a big fan of working out and it was a form of relaxation for me. However, now that I’m plus-sized, working out is never easy. I keep getting comments and advice on how to lose weight, but that isn’t the main point.

This is a lonely journey that I’m battling on my own. After a while, I numb myself to these comments and I took it upon myself to decide that whatever I do is for myself, with no need to explain anything to anyone.

So I started to focus on what I do, and do what I love. I discovered that I really enjoy working out. Hence, I started to focus on myself and to love myself instead of working out for the sake of losing weight.

I continue to indulge in ice cream (another of my favourite foods) but in moderation. If I go for a run, it's because I want to run and not because I want to lose weight. I started to live for myself instead of trying to achieve the goal of losing weight.

Today, I work out on a regular basis and I watch my diet a little. I wouldn't say that I have lost weight but I feel more confident. Eventually I told myself, “Regardless of how I look, I'm still me”. For those who love me, they love me for who I am and my personality.

All I want to say to the girls out there is – regardless of how you look, you have to start loving yourself and accept your body. When you feel confident, people will see the glow in you. Don't give up on your journey and continue to do what you love!

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rockthenakedtruthsg

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@goodity.co has the goods…

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Someone in your family, a friend or a colleague mi

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How do you approach this person without offending him/her?

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People are often so quick to criticise and give negative comments, especially about our appearances.

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Watch this video with advice from @goodity.co.

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I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body w

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body when I was in my early 20s and the relationship carried till Circuit Breaker. This period of isolation forced me to reflect on my own inner child wounds.

I was born with big hips structure and damn jialat metabolism. At 24, I tried to lose weight by jogging every morning and only having yogurt for the whole day. I did lose some weight but I also lost a lot of my hair. That lifestyle lasted for 2 months and I was not in a good mental space. Then I went back to my usual diet and gained all the weight back.

In 2021, I got molested in the bus by this Gray Hoodie Ah Pek. He sat beside me, pretended to fall asleep and circled his thumb on my thigh. He then alighted the bus and looked back at me with a smirk. I swear I was beyond disgusted.

Due to genetics, I have a heavier bottom and the yoga pants and bicycle shorts that I buy online are not squat-proof (very transparent at the butt area) so most of the time when I head out for training I would need to double wear my yoga/bicycle pants with shorts. But that day, I was in a cover-up dress that showed nothing and was feeling disgusted and fat. I reported him to the police anyway.

Later, I released myself from a very toxic situation when I was constantly seeking for acceptance and at the same time, I received news that Gray Hoodie Ah Pek was sentenced to 2 counts with 4 months imprisonment.

At that point of time, it was very dark and I questioned myself frequently, “Is it because I am not good enough?”, “Confused, I was fat but why did that ah pek still touch me?”, “Guilty, because I was one of the reasons that sent him to imprisonment and he might have a family to feed.”, “Why me?”.

To cope, I went back to doing yoga and also started Muay Thai. I felt more balance, love and acceptance towards myself; learned self-defence, resilience, discipline and how to stay grounded.

Definitely, there will still be days when I question myself with my own self-acceptance, but I made a promise to myself to continue to learn and grow mentally and never stop.

Thank you for reading my story. Namaste.

- Val (@soundslikehokkienmee)

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had pos

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had posted it on Facebook with a caption “omg I look so fat here”.

This was when I was struggling with my eating disorders. I was starving myself, taking slimming pills, counting calories and I remember feeling so miserable all the time.

How was this fat?! I clearly was struggling with my body, with my self-worth, with my confidence. And this lack of self-confidence showed in many different ways.

For example, I was constantly in relationships or dating because I needed attention for validation. I would stay in toxic relationships even though I know it’s bad, and I would enable it further, because at the back of my mind I just want to feel loved.

It took me over a decade to reach where I am now and it hasn’t been easy at all. There are days when some of these past demons rear their ugly heads but I am able to better deal with them now.

Self-love is a journey, so be patient and keep working at it!

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire preg

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire pregnancy, and after my pregnancy. I hated it. I felt like it failed me. I felt fat my entire pregnancy instead of embracing the fact that my body was growing a human and creating a life and just being all around awesome.

I was still weighing myself and going, “Well, how much does the baby weigh and how much weight have I put on?” I couldn’t find clothes that fit me.

Part of my trauma (on top of PCOS, lupus, endometriosis, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) during my IVF journey as well, was multiple people saying, “Oh, when are you due?”, when I wasn’t even pregnant. I’ve had two flight crew in the past saying, “I do have your letter of authorization for travel.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you’re pregnant. You must be due soon.” And that was when I was just fat and trying to get pregnant.

My body issues and my self-esteem issues followed me into my pregnancy. I gained 27kg while I was pregnant and it was because of the meds. I wasn’t eating everything or anything I wanted; in fact, I was vomiting every day and still getting fat.

I gained more weight after I gave birth and got to 129kg, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life with a baby going, “I’ve done this bit. Why aren’t I having the other bit now?” I literally was worse after I had the baby in terms of my mental health surrounding my weight.”

- @jazskimo keeping it real and sharing her thoughts about her first pregnancy and childbirth. This was after 7 years of IVF and S$130,000 spent. She’s in a better place mentally now with a beautiful son and is on her next IVF adventure to try for her second child.