Eating disorders happen to all shapes and sizes. I’ve been 44kg with an eating disorder, 84kg with an eating disorder and everything in between. You could have the most industry desired body in the world and still hate yourself and think you’re worthless. You can still struggle with body confidence because your body is not correlated to your body confidence.

I was at my heaviest when I finally sort after treatment and was worried I didn’t look ‘sick’ enough to be taken seriously... To only then be diagnosed with anorexia even though I was severely overweight. I couldn’t accept my body for what it was. I’d think “just five or ten kilograms more, THEN I’ll focus on recovering"; "one more diet THEN I’ll start living my life"; "if i just get to this weight I can be happy forever." But how does that work when I was 44kg and still miserable?

I thought my amazing life would come AFTER weight loss but what I didn’t realise is that weight has NOTHING TO DO with living life. I would have to FIRST make the choice to start LIVING. Returning to my natural body weight would be one of the many after effects of this, an after effect of living without restriction. CHOOSING to live again was the best decision I've EVER made. I doubt my body will ever be the same as it once was but it’s not a fear to me, nor was it when I first recovered two years ago. Our bodies are so incredible. My stretch marks are signs that my skin allowed me to stretch and return again. My body didn’t give up on me when I didn't eat enough calories (because people seem to forget if you don’t eat enough calories you die), nor did it when I shoved thousands of calories worth of crap into it a day. It has given me another chance to take care of it and let me be friends with it again, after how badly I treated it. I am very lucky to be on the same team now and won’t take it for granted again. #RockTheNakedTruthSG