Running was what brought Raynor Yeo and Goh Hui Shan together and till today, running still helps to keep their five-year relationship strong. They first joined Rock The Naked Truth in March, when they came for their first ROCKrunners session. Thereafter, they have been a regular at ROCK events, with Shan especially sharing lots of love and positivity.
Here are their stories –
HUI SHAN:
Since young, as an extroverted introvert, I always appear as a timid and quiet girl. But that’s not actually true! I used to get uncomfortable when others are quick to judge, saying I’m too quiet and some even saying that I’m so quiet I might be mute. I know they are joking but I couldn’t help feeling annoyed and sad when I hear such remarks. Because of this, I started to keep things to myself and I dared not share my problems with others for fear of being judged again, so I never really knew how to express my true feelings.
Things became worse when this big bully in secondary school started to pick on me because I was the quietest in class. He probably knew I wouldn’t retaliate and he’s right – I didn’t. I was very angry and sad, often crying to myself and asking myself if people are bullying me because I am weird.
As we started to enter puberty, my self-esteem dropped further because boys would keep looking at the pretty girls in class who blossomed earlier. I happened to be good friends with two of them and the boys would make use of me to get close to my friends, making me feel worse.
One day though, this boy came up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Without giving much thought I said ok and he seemed like a nice boy. He got me breakfast in the morning, walked me to school and sent me home after school. But it didn’t last long because I found out that he was seeing someone else at the same time!
Heartbroken and devastated, I started to blame myself and it was from that point in life that I developed this inferiority complex about myself – that I’m not good enough.
I carried this low self-esteem into my working life and I was often doubting my abilities at work, questioning if I am good enough for the job, if I am doing good enough for the family. I was stressed and lost.
Until I decided to go and try new things – why not? So I went to sign up for a dancing class and also started to go for jogs around the neighbourhood after work. This process of finding myself is truly amazing because you will unlock certain things you thought you couldn’t do. Do what you love and you feel good about yourself.
After the last toxic relationship, I told myself that for my next relationship, I want someone who loves me from inside out and accept me for I am, someone who will do my favourite things with me. That’s when I met Ray.
We met at our workplace and to be honest, I never thought we would get together. We started hanging out because I learnt that he runs around his neighbourhood (which is near mine), so I suggested going for runs before work. We met up almost every day to run together and we took the same breaks as work, as well as went home after work together. We spent so much time together and we enjoyed each other’s company, so it was only natural that we eventually got together. We even signed up for our first 10km race together and even though I wasn’t the fastest, I was overjoyed just for completing it.. especially completing it with him. That’s happiness!
The more we ran, the higher the expectations I had for myself and I was often left feeling upset because I couldn’t beat my personal best timings. I was also bothered by my skinny fat body – I tried to diet but it turned out worse because my mood got affected. I tried to run more but I got burnt out and actually stopped running for a period of time because I was so sick of it. That killed my stamina and I had to rebuild it all over again.
Sometime in December last year, I came across Cheryl Tay’s Instagram where she announced she was launching Rock The Naked Truth, a body image movement. That caught my attention and finally in March, Ray and I joined our first ROCKrunners session.
Since then, Rock The Naked Truth has changed my perspective of life entirely.
Now I talk to people more openly and freely, I eat the right amount of food, I indulge in what I love to eat and not starve myself, I exercise to destress, I mix my fitness routine out, I am always looking to try new things. There is never a dull moment with RTNT!
This is what I’ve learnt with RTNT:
Be YOU.// I want to spend my life being a person who knows how to let things go, not hold hatred, keep smiling and keep spreading happiness to others. To the #ROCKfam, being able to work out with like-minded people like you guys is GOLD and I am truly blessed to have met all of you. I am so grateful for having you guys see me through my weakest moments to where I am now.
My heartfelt thanks to Cheryl for creating this platform for us and constantly showing love and positive energy, always fighting for our happiness. Every Saturday morning has become my weekly dose of happiness when I go for ROCKrunners. Thank you Jean for all your energy, patience and thoughtfulness.
To my love, my pillar of strength, my HERO: I LOVE YOU RAYNOR! I believe in treating people the same way you would like to be treated. So be nice to yourself first, love yourself first then spread the positivity to the people around you.
Everything happens for a reason to make you a stronger and better person. What defines us is how well we rise after falling. Stop focusing on the negatives and instead, make things happen for yourself today. Smile!
RAYNOR:
“If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” Inspired by the late Steve Jobs, these are the very words that run through my mind whenever I start my day. So I’m pretty sure many will wonder why such a thought to begin my day. Well, here’s a classic love story that created the Raynor you see today.
I was previously a skinny young boy and was often targeted by school bullies as a weakling, thus going home in bruises. It was definitely a struggle trying to stand up for myself because no matter what I did, I will always end up getting bullied. I tried fighting back, but my weak arms were not able to withstand the force of the bigger boys. I tried running away, but they always seemed to be able to catch up to me. No matter what, I went home appearing strong and pretending that everything was ok because I didn’t want my parents to know.
Then the school belle happened. I remember how every guy would try all ways to get her number – from playing the guitar and singing for her, to waiting outside the classroom for her. On the other hand, I was lucky enough to be in the same class as her, and if that is not considered lucky enough, I was even seated next to her! So yeah, she was my daily motivation then.
One day, she asked my classmate and I to hang out after class for lunch. Hell yeah, of course I agreed to. We were eating when my classmate suddenly asked, “If Raynor and I were to ask you to be our girlfriend, who would you pick?” At that moment, I froze with a rapidly beating heart, hoping that she would pick me.
In a split second, she replied to my classmate, “Of course I will choose you lah! Why will I choose Raynor? He’s so skinny; I will not feel secure lor.” *cue sound of heart shattering*
I went home that day feeling emotionally crushed. I spent some time looking at myself in the mirror and many negative thoughts came to me. I started to search on the internet “How to be attractive to females?” and it seemed that bodybuilding was the solution. I immediately headed to the gym with my brothers in hope that after some training I can look as attractive as those Calvin Klein underwear models.
Months past and I grew bulkier and bulkier. I started to feel that my t-shirts were getting tighter with my biceps stretching the sleeves, and I had to buy new clothes. Whoop whoop! I received more attention and people were praising me, “Whoa bro, handsome already la now!” “Hey Raynor, want to have dinner together?” “Bro, come let’s go Zouk tonight man!” I was definitely enjoying what my time and effort in the gym had produced. I could finally be part of the ‘cool kids’ and that feeling was so satisfying.
Then the dreaded IPPT test soon came as my enlistment was approaching. I was so confident because of all the positive remarks I was getting but when it came to the final station, the 2.4km run, I found myself struggling. After just one lap, I was panting so heavily and I ended up failing the run! Everyone was so quick to mock at me: “Wah lao, you train until so fit then cannot run?” “HAHA, big body, small legs!” “Waste time lah you!” It was at this moment that I realised no matter how much you do to try to fit in, you can never make everyone happy. Hence, to avoid enlisting earlier, I decided I should start working on my running.
It was during this period of training that I met Shan. We went around Singapore to run different places, then rewarding ourselves with a good meal after. The more often we ran,the longer the distance we ran, the stronger I became in my run. Together, we started achieving more and more in the sport. Eventually, I went to retake my IPPT and attained silver. That was when we realised that as a couple, we could make things happen for ourselves, because love and passion helps to motivate us to achieve more daily.
Fast forward to the time of national service, daily training took a toll on me and I ended up with a slight stress fracture. The usual stubborn me would not take the advice from the medical officers and I carried on with my training. Well, as the old saying goes, “It is only through the tough times that one will learn”, I went on with my training till one day, I could not feel my legs and I collapsed. I had to be carried by my friends to the medical centre where the doctor told me to rest my legs and stop running for the time being.
I was devastated and could not believed what had happened to me. Running was basically the sport that brought Shan and I together and now it has been removed from me. I wanted an alternative to spending time with Shan and that’s when she introduced me to cycling.
I did not know how to ride a bicycle, but I knew that this was the only sport I could replace running with for the time being. I had to do this! Thus, I went ahead and ambitiously got myself a road bike. A mixture of feelings was experienced during the process of learning to ride a bike. I could not fall as my leg were regarded as “fragile”, however I wanted to recover and regain my strength so badly that I had to do this. Eventually, I learnt how to cycle and both of us would go for rides together on the Park Connectors.
One night, we were watching videos on YouTube when a video on IRONMAN World Championships in Kona came up. Shan turned to me and said, “Since you love to swim, bike and run, maybe you should try this.” That very statement changed my life.
On March 2016, Shan and I decided to join Rock The Naked Truth. Initially, we thought it would just be another running group, but Cheryl Tay changed our perspective. Through the weekly session, what we term our ‘weekly dose of happiness’, I have learnt that the word “happy” can be defined individually, but “happiness” is created through positive synergy of friendships. Every individual plays an important role in creating this addictive dosage of happiness every week and this great sense of belonging has made us a family.
Occasionally, I look back at my photos and think to myself, “What if?” What if I was still a skinny chap? What if I heard something different from my female crush? I may not have met the love of my life Shan. What if I didn’t struggle with the 2.4km run? I wouldn’t have started running so much and I wouldn’t have created this memorable chemistry with Shan.
Then I came to realise, it is never about how you look, be it being bulky or skinny. There will always be praises and criticism. So, just live your life the way you want to and remember, “I want to go to bed better than I woke up.”
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ROCKstar of the Month is a monthly award given to an inspiring individual (in this case, individuals) who advocates a positive mindset and living an active lifestyle (see full requirements below). For winning ROCKstar of the Month (November), Raynor and Hui Shan both walk away with an outfit lovingly from Liv Activ.
Requirements to be a ROCKstar of the Month awardee:
