I’m now 19 years old and I have been suffering from eating disorders for nearly four years now. This has taken a toll on me and I was often having depression and anxiety. I was a bulimic too.

Every part of me conflicts with myself, my brain, my heart. I can’t think about other things, I’m so conscious about what I’m eating. I even planned out what I want to binge on later. I think about food 24/7 a day.

I care about how I look so much that I get tense if I go out after a binging session because I will be so conscious of the bulging tummy. I feel my face is as round as the cookie that I chucked down earlier. I tremble in fear when I have to take the public transport because I feel like people are judging me. I am afraid of going to school because my friends might comment on the amount of weight I had gained.

My weight fluctuate more than the stock market. One day I wake up looking alright, other days I wake up looking like a pufferfish. Sometimes I just wish I would fall asleep and never wake up. No one really understands me because they have never been through this before and I just have no one to talk to.

I’m really glad that there is Rock The Naked Truth, as I now know I’m not alone. I am still on the journey of recovering and I know I will recover in time to come.