I've struggled with my body for a huge part of my life. ‘Oh, but Cheryl you're so petite and tiny!’ – these are words that I always hear. I became more conscious of my size after my friends kept saying how little I am. I grew up not knowing how to truly love myself so when people started noticing my body, I started comparing my body with what I saw on television and in magazines – the society’s perception of an ‘ideal and acceptable’ body. And mine did not look anywhere close to that.
To some extent, my friends are saying the truth. I’m 4ft10 (147cm). I used to be so concerned of every single ‘flaw’ on my body - the stretch marks, the cellulite, the tummy flab, the thighs with no gap, tiny boobs and more.
I started dressing in all black for several reasons. For one, black is a ‘slimming’ colour and second, I was getting physically sick with my body whenever I saw myself in the mirror so I stopped looking at it and just dressed in the dark. Besides, it's harder to go wrong when dressing up if it's all black. Eventually it just took so much energy and life out of me that I no longer give it the power to drain me anymore.
I decided to gift myself something no one could on my 30th birthday. The 30th birthday is a such big milestone to me, so instead of buying something expensive, I gave myself something priceless – a gift that required a huge change in my mindset, outlook and what is perceived to be the definition of beauty. I stopped caring about how people see me when I’m in my swimmers, stopped caring about how my thighs look in pants, stopped caring about whether I’m tall enough to pull that off or if my boobs are big enough. I did what made me happy!
The healthy thoughts propelled me into a happier state and the growth in body confidence I feel under my skin is great. Sometimes, people's comments still get me and I feel the self-doubt and negativity creeping in, but I’ve learnt to bounce back from it because I’m owning what I have and I love it! I respect my body and for all the wonderful things it allows me to do and it's okay if I don't have the ‘ideal’ body type! I love working with what I have and creating a balance of doing what feels good for my mind and body.
Be proud of what you have because your body is uniquely you and because it is pretty damn awesome. Have the kind of self-love that involves only you and not how someone else sees you! No matter what shape, size or colour our bodies are - they are freaking awesome of being able to do what they do for us. I’m thankful for mine!
