Cheryl Regina Lim: I've struggled with my body for a huge part of my life – Rock The Naked Truth

Cheryl Regina Lim: I've struggled with my body for a huge part of my life

I've struggled with my body for a huge part of my life. ‘Oh, but Cheryl you're so petite and tiny!’ – these are words that I always hear. I became more conscious of my size after my friends kept saying how little I am. I grew up not knowing how to truly love myself so when people started noticing my body, I started comparing my body with what I saw on television and in magazines – the society’s perception of an ‘ideal and acceptable’ body. And mine did not look anywhere close to that.

To some extent, my friends are saying the truth. I’m 4ft10 (147cm). I used to be so concerned of every single ‘flaw’ on my body - the stretch marks, the cellulite, the tummy flab, the thighs with no gap, tiny boobs and more.

I started dressing in all black for several reasons. For one, black is a ‘slimming’ colour and second, I was getting physically sick with my body whenever I saw myself in the mirror so I stopped looking at it and just dressed in the dark. Besides, it's harder to go wrong when dressing up if it's all black. Eventually it just took so much energy and life out of me that I no longer give it the power to drain me anymore.

I decided to gift myself something no one could on my 30th birthday. The 30^th birthday is a such big milestone to me, so instead of buying something expensive, I gave myself something priceless – a gift that required a huge change in my mindset, outlook and what is perceived to be the definition of beauty. I stopped caring about how people see me when I’m in my swimmers, stopped caring about how my thighs look in pants, stopped caring about whether I’m tall enough to pull that off or if my boobs are big enough. I did what made me happy!

The healthy thoughts propelled me into a happier state and the growth in body confidence I feel under my skin is great. Sometimes, people's comments still get me and I feel the self-doubt and negativity creeping in, but I’ve learnt to bounce back from it because I’m owning what I have and I love it! I respect my body and for all the wonderful things it allows me to do and it's okay if I don't have the ‘ideal’ body type! I love working with what I have and creating a balance of doing what feels good for my mind and body.

Be proud of what you have because your body is uniquely you and because it is pretty damn awesome. Have the kind of self-love that involves only you and not how someone else sees you! No matter what shape, size or colour our bodies are - they are freaking awesome of being able to do what they do for us. I’m thankful for mine!

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I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body w

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body when I was in my early 20s and the relationship carried till Circuit Breaker. This period of isolation forced me to reflect on my own inner child wounds.

I was born with big hips structure and damn jialat metabolism. At 24, I tried to lose weight by jogging every morning and only having yogurt for the whole day. I did lose some weight but I also lost a lot of my hair. That lifestyle lasted for 2 months and I was not in a good mental space. Then I went back to my usual diet and gained all the weight back.

In 2021, I got molested in the bus by this Gray Hoodie Ah Pek. He sat beside me, pretended to fall asleep and circled his thumb on my thigh. He then alighted the bus and looked back at me with a smirk. I swear I was beyond disgusted.

Due to genetics, I have a heavier bottom and the yoga pants and bicycle shorts that I buy online are not squat-proof (very transparent at the butt area) so most of the time when I head out for training I would need to double wear my yoga/bicycle pants with shorts. But that day, I was in a cover-up dress that showed nothing and was feeling disgusted and fat. I reported him to the police anyway.

Later, I released myself from a very toxic situation when I was constantly seeking for acceptance and at the same time, I received news that Gray Hoodie Ah Pek was sentenced to 2 counts with 4 months imprisonment.

At that point of time, it was very dark and I questioned myself frequently, “Is it because I am not good enough?”, “Confused, I was fat but why did that ah pek still touch me?”, “Guilty, because I was one of the reasons that sent him to imprisonment and he might have a family to feed.”, “Why me?”.

To cope, I went back to doing yoga and also started Muay Thai. I felt more balance, love and acceptance towards myself; learned self-defence, resilience, discipline and how to stay grounded.

Definitely, there will still be days when I question myself with my own self-acceptance, but I made a promise to myself to continue to learn and grow mentally and never stop.

Thank you for reading my story. Namaste.

- Val (@soundslikehokkienmee)

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had pos

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had posted it on Facebook with a caption “omg I look so fat here”.

This was when I was struggling with my eating disorders. I was starving myself, taking slimming pills, counting calories and I remember feeling so miserable all the time.

How was this fat?! I clearly was struggling with my body, with my self-worth, with my confidence. And this lack of self-confidence showed in many different ways.

For example, I was constantly in relationships or dating because I needed attention for validation. I would stay in toxic relationships even though I know it’s bad, and I would enable it further, because at the back of my mind I just want to feel loved.

It took me over a decade to reach where I am now and it hasn’t been easy at all. There are days when some of these past demons rear their ugly heads but I am able to better deal with them now.

Self-love is a journey, so be patient and keep working at it!

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire preg

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire pregnancy, and after my pregnancy. I hated it. I felt like it failed me. I felt fat my entire pregnancy instead of embracing the fact that my body was growing a human and creating a life and just being all around awesome.

I was still weighing myself and going, “Well, how much does the baby weigh and how much weight have I put on?” I couldn’t find clothes that fit me.

Part of my trauma (on top of PCOS, lupus, endometriosis, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) during my IVF journey as well, was multiple people saying, “Oh, when are you due?”, when I wasn’t even pregnant. I’ve had two flight crew in the past saying, “I do have your letter of authorization for travel.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you’re pregnant. You must be due soon.” And that was when I was just fat and trying to get pregnant.

My body issues and my self-esteem issues followed me into my pregnancy. I gained 27kg while I was pregnant and it was because of the meds. I wasn’t eating everything or anything I wanted; in fact, I was vomiting every day and still getting fat.

I gained more weight after I gave birth and got to 129kg, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life with a baby going, “I’ve done this bit. Why aren’t I having the other bit now?” I literally was worse after I had the baby in terms of my mental health surrounding my weight.”

- @jazskimo keeping it real and sharing her thoughts about her first pregnancy and childbirth. This was after 7 years of IVF and S$130,000 spent. She’s in a better place mentally now with a beautiful son and is on her next IVF adventure to try for her second child.