ROCKstar of the Month (April): Rozila Abdullah – Rock The Naked Truth

ROCKstar of the Month (April): Rozila Abdullah

I am a single 42-year-old lady working in the hospitality industry.

Prior to 2018, running was foreign to me. I have always been on the chubby side growing up and I was not in into sports. However, a very difficult period in 2017 turned my life upside down emotionally and financially. I had no one else except myself to clear the mess.

I lost weight due to the stress, as I lived in sadness and fear for my life. I told myself that if I did not pull myself together, I would go through depression which I did not want to relive again.

In short, I had to sell my private property at a loss and nearly went bankrupt. I also had to deal with problems with my family as they were involved in illegal activities and I had to do things that broke my heart.

The dark period made me realise that in giving my energy to others, I did not love myself enough to prioritise me in my life. This was when I decided that I have to self-love in order to take care of my well being. I decided to start my journey towards a Happy & Healthy lifestyle.

I was 76kg in March 2017. Changing my eating habits was the first step I took followed by exercising regularly at the free workouts by HPB. I lost 8kg by October and then I found out about the Lose To Win 2018 programme. I signed up for the programme and lost another 8kg within 12 weeks from January to April 2018.

I am very fortunate to have met different participants from all walks of life, each with their own life story. Even though the Lose To Win 2018 has ended, I am still continuing my journey towards a Happy & Healthy lifestyle with fellow participants in T2FIT (Trim to Fit) Interest Group which encourages people to adopt a healthy lifestyle through working out together led by the passionate LTW Motivators.

At this point, you must be thinking how did I get started on running? I have to thank my colleague who asked me whether I wanted to join the Run For Hope 2018. I signed up for the 10km run. It was such an emotional experience as I had never run in my life. It was then that I decided to Run/Walk with a Cause.

I learnt about Rock The Naked Truth after I attended an event by lululemon. What I love about RTNT is its body positivity message which encourages people to be comfortable in their own skin. RTNT advocates an active lifestyle through various activities such as running (ROCKrunners), Triathlons (ROCKtri) and educational/sports workshops.

I no longer have new year resolutions. Instead, I have fitness goals.

So for 2018, I completed 12 runs, 1 ’53km’ Marathon Walk and 1 ’34-storey’ Vertical Challenge. I am not a competitive runner so it’s not about having a PB time for me but instead its about challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone and learn things you never thought you could do – I’ve done long distance running, yoga, pilates, strength training and learning to conquer my fear of swimming.

I’ve not been running as much in 2019 as I did last year, but I had my most memorable race – my first ever trail run and also the longest distance I’ve ever run in my life – the 25km at Forest Force 50. This wouldn’t have been possible without the friends I made in ROCKrunners, who encouraged me every step of the way – literally, from signing up to completing the race with me.

Thank you Cheryl and the ROCKrunners family for your support and motivation! 😘

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I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body w

I had a very unhealthy relationship with my body when I was in my early 20s and the relationship carried till Circuit Breaker. This period of isolation forced me to reflect on my own inner child wounds.

I was born with big hips structure and damn jialat metabolism. At 24, I tried to lose weight by jogging every morning and only having yogurt for the whole day. I did lose some weight but I also lost a lot of my hair. That lifestyle lasted for 2 months and I was not in a good mental space. Then I went back to my usual diet and gained all the weight back.

In 2021, I got molested in the bus by this Gray Hoodie Ah Pek. He sat beside me, pretended to fall asleep and circled his thumb on my thigh. He then alighted the bus and looked back at me with a smirk. I swear I was beyond disgusted.

Due to genetics, I have a heavier bottom and the yoga pants and bicycle shorts that I buy online are not squat-proof (very transparent at the butt area) so most of the time when I head out for training I would need to double wear my yoga/bicycle pants with shorts. But that day, I was in a cover-up dress that showed nothing and was feeling disgusted and fat. I reported him to the police anyway.

Later, I released myself from a very toxic situation when I was constantly seeking for acceptance and at the same time, I received news that Gray Hoodie Ah Pek was sentenced to 2 counts with 4 months imprisonment.

At that point of time, it was very dark and I questioned myself frequently, “Is it because I am not good enough?”, “Confused, I was fat but why did that ah pek still touch me?”, “Guilty, because I was one of the reasons that sent him to imprisonment and he might have a family to feed.”, “Why me?”.

To cope, I went back to doing yoga and also started Muay Thai. I felt more balance, love and acceptance towards myself; learned self-defence, resilience, discipline and how to stay grounded.

Definitely, there will still be days when I question myself with my own self-acceptance, but I made a promise to myself to continue to learn and grow mentally and never stop.

Thank you for reading my story. Namaste.

- Val (@soundslikehokkienmee)

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had pos

Came across this photo taken in 2010 and I had posted it on Facebook with a caption “omg I look so fat here”.

This was when I was struggling with my eating disorders. I was starving myself, taking slimming pills, counting calories and I remember feeling so miserable all the time.

How was this fat?! I clearly was struggling with my body, with my self-worth, with my confidence. And this lack of self-confidence showed in many different ways.

For example, I was constantly in relationships or dating because I needed attention for validation. I would stay in toxic relationships even though I know it’s bad, and I would enable it further, because at the back of my mind I just want to feel loved.

It took me over a decade to reach where I am now and it hasn’t been easy at all. There are days when some of these past demons rear their ugly heads but I am able to better deal with them now.

Self-love is a journey, so be patient and keep working at it!

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire preg

“I hated my body with a passion, the entire pregnancy, and after my pregnancy. I hated it. I felt like it failed me. I felt fat my entire pregnancy instead of embracing the fact that my body was growing a human and creating a life and just being all around awesome.

I was still weighing myself and going, “Well, how much does the baby weigh and how much weight have I put on?” I couldn’t find clothes that fit me.

Part of my trauma (on top of PCOS, lupus, endometriosis, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) during my IVF journey as well, was multiple people saying, “Oh, when are you due?”, when I wasn’t even pregnant. I’ve had two flight crew in the past saying, “I do have your letter of authorization for travel.” I’m like, “What are you talking about?” “Well, you’re pregnant. You must be due soon.” And that was when I was just fat and trying to get pregnant.

My body issues and my self-esteem issues followed me into my pregnancy. I gained 27kg while I was pregnant and it was because of the meds. I wasn’t eating everything or anything I wanted; in fact, I was vomiting every day and still getting fat.

I gained more weight after I gave birth and got to 129kg, which is the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life with a baby going, “I’ve done this bit. Why aren’t I having the other bit now?” I literally was worse after I had the baby in terms of my mental health surrounding my weight.”

- @jazskimo keeping it real and sharing her thoughts about her first pregnancy and childbirth. This was after 7 years of IVF and S$130,000 spent. She’s in a better place mentally now with a beautiful son and is on her next IVF adventure to try for her second child.