So basically, “skinny” is never a description in my dictionary. My mum was like any typical Singaporean mum. She controlled what I ate and how I ate from a tender age of seven. No matter how thin I was, to her I was always FAT.
So because of that I would always pig out whenever I could, especially when she is not around. She would often compare me with others, be it friends or cousins of the same age group and I would always be “The Fatter One”.
After while I
My self esteem and regard for how beautiful a person I was inside and out, plummeted when I entered secondary school. For six years (secondary school through JC), I was constantly bullied, and my friendly attempts at making friends would often be regarded as desperate, pathetic or weird. This would very often be because of (a) my being labelled as ugly/unattractive, (b) people misinterpreting my intentions and actions but never clarifying them, (c) peer influence and/or (d) vicious spreading of
Growing up, I was a very insecure child mainly for two reasons – my scars and my body. I had scars on my legs and certain parts of my body, and when puberty hit, the shame doubled because I started to get pimples. I had stick legs, a flabby torso and poor posture – so I didn’t find my appearance pleasing.
During secondary school days, I only exercised when I had to during PE or CCA. Naturally I felt that was sufficient as I was in a uniform group and
I used to be of average size before I had my daughter, but I gained about 20kg during my pregnancy and had difficulty losing these extra pounds after. I could not fit into any of my old clothing and had problems looking for clothes to fit me. Due to my busy work schedule and having to take care of my daughter, I couldn’t find time to exercise. I did lose a little weight in two years, but the truth is I gave up. Time just passed and my daughter is now 17.
Over the last
Many may not know this (including the closest of family and friends), but I’ve silently gone through body image issues for the past three years, since I was 16. Being in an all girls’ school, I was pressured to look a certain way to be accepted by peers. The girls were critical about how each of their friends look – how you have rolls on your belly, how flabby your arms are, whether you’re eating too much, eating too much carbs (yes, carbs was the