I have been and still am battling bulimia. It has been 13 to 14 years now. I can’t quite remember how it started, why it started but it’s something that has been so ingrained in me, so constant and sickeningly, almost like a reliable friend that I can always go to at the end of the day should I feel… fat.
I won’t say I am not seeking recovery, I can’t say I am actively trying either. But I am no longer in hiding at least. I told close friends and family, my
Since young, I’ve always been a pretty average-sized kid. During my secondary school years, I was not active in exercising or any kind of sports, till I graduated and joined a dragonboat team, where stamina and endurance was a need so I trained hard for it. However, at that point of time, I did not notice any changes to my physical body. It still looked chubby to me.
Then I started working at Wavehouse Sentosa. I started feeling self-conscious about my body,
I’ve struggled with low self esteem all my life. Never once have I not heard voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough, how fat I am and how I’m a disgusting unlovable mess. Then anorexia hit me in 2013, before bulimia did.
Throughout these years I also experienced suicidal behaviours, anxiety, depression and inflicted self-harm on myself. Things were so bad I couldn’t function like a normal human being anymore. I refused to move and I would
When I was younger, I was hit by wave after wave of insecurity because I didn’t grow up in exactly the best of circumstances. I was skinny and subject to verbal and physical abuse of those around me who were better looking and better built.
People kept saying “Be yourself!” but I never felt I could be that way because I always saw myself as small and pathetic. Few years down the road and fitness has inspired me to be above them all.
It took a lot of healing and
It might seem like I’ve always enjoy going to the gym and eating healthy, but the truth is, it hasn’t always been like that.
Back then, I first started working out because I hated my body. I’ve been called nasty names about massive thighs, round tummy and being flat chested. On the surface I joke about it, but in the dark I put myself through countless diets, binging till I felt disgusted and threw up, then ended up hating myself even more. I did all of that in